I cannot believe he is gone... Losing a friend that is closer than a family member is the hardest thing I had to deal with. I am so glad I got to spend time with him. I'm glad when we didn't see each other for a long time it was easy to pick up where we left. We always had something to talk about. We always had stuff to laugh at. We always could talk and talk.
I miss him. I know he is in a better place now and I know I will see him again one day.. but why Richard?
Sometimes you meet people in your life and become friends for a period of time... but when you loose that friend you want to keep part of your life your heart becomes empty..
On a other note... he worries me. If I were to loose him I'll loose everything. People might see us as something else, but their wrong. We have a friendship that cannot be broken. In fact, its not even a friendship its not romance its beyond words. I might have a boyfriend that I care sooo much about and love, but if anything were to happen to him Ill loose my mind. He might put his guard up to a lot of people but with me he lets me in.. why isn't he letting me in this time?... Is it time to break that bond.. is it time for me to give up on him?.... I am so confused and worried.
I need to get out of corpus. Hopefully Allie is not joking about moving to Austin. That has been my goal since I were little. People always say they are moving there. Austin has become a cliche. For me it means a new life it means a bright future it means getting away from all the negativity in my life...
I have a lot going through my head. being high might take away a lot but when reality comes in what am I suppose to do ?
No comments:
Post a Comment